Saturday, February 23, 2008

Politerotica Interruptus

Ever since I was, say twelve, I've had erotic dreams culminating in orgasm. This morning I awakened dreaming that I was kissing a man in bed at my girlfriend's house at the beach. We were naked.

I have no idea who he was, except somehow he's connected with VampireRave. The kisses were great, good lip pressure, right amount of tongue, tasty. There's a knock at the door. It's my girlfriend demanding that we allow a child to pass through the bedroom in order to get to the bathroom. He has to get ready for school. Her house is not set up like this, but dreams have their own moving scenery. The man and I tuck the covers around us and the kid comes in.

He's not even her real son. He's a mixed race kid with Jughead ears who looks like a miniature version of Barack Obama!

I look at my girlfriend with my What the Hell??!! expression. She’s glaring at me and without her lips even moving, I know she's really pissed because she's doing all the work with the kid while I'm making out in bed with a strangely silent good-kisser of a man.

I want to kiss him some more. I look at my girlfriend and she's smiling big-toothed and apple-cheeked and is herself but also Hillary Clinton.

I look back at the naked guy in my bed. He asks for a beer. It's all over.

Please feel free to criticize, sympathize or tell one of your own erotic dreams.

Cartoon by Walt Handelsman